I would like to go back to work . . . please

Why oh why can't the little corgi get back to work around here? This blog definately needs to be updated . . . if only I had thumbs.

Too Hot for a Fluff

Weather here in sunny North Myrtle Beach is overwhelming. Makes just breathing and walking out to the yard a real chore. Mom's stopped taking me to work as she feels that I might have a heat stroke walking from the car into her office. I guess I'll just have to continue lounging in the air conditioned house, watching Blossom. It's just too hot for the fluff. It's not easy being beautiful.

Unemployed Therapy Dog

Blossom seems to be uprooting me from my job as therapy dog . . . she passed the 1st part of the therapy dog certification test on the first night of class (I'm now taking my 3rd round of classes) Annoying. However, I feel morally obligated to disclose her few problem behaviors to the world . . . so that I will feel better about myself. BLOSSOM IS A SHOPLIFTER! Yes, that's right. She was caught wandering through Food Lion on the fourth of July AFTER she made an escape from the owner. Sure, she was frightened by the evil children that set off cherry bombs and she pulled the owner down a flight of stairs, causing her leash to break(I think someone had been chewing it a little :) . . . .but then . . . SHE REFUSED TO COME WHEN CALLED . .. and then she was found 3 hours later and about 2 miles away . . . shoplifting inside the Food Lion. I mean I've done some naughty things . . . but I've never caused the owner to have panic attacks and significant trauma. Yet . .. . they still give Blossom cookies. They would have sent me off to an intensive boarding and training school for rehab if I had pulled that stunt. But no .... dogs with tails have much easier lives.

Deja Vu

Hmmmm . . . slightly repetitive. My owner is absolutely clueless on how to blog. What an embarrassment. Oh by the way .... tomorrow I'm going to tell you the story of Blossom's GREAT ESCAPE or "How Blossom almost caused the owner to have cardiac arrest". . .

Corgis Gone Wild

Just another example of the many abuses that I must endure on a daily basis. Please no more Mommy and Me swim classes. I beg you.

The Swimming Corgi . . .

This is an example of the abuse that occurs on a regular basis in my home.

Lazy Dog Days of Summer

So, I've been busy this summer. Doing some swimming. Assisting Blossom in learning to be a bad dog. I've stopped blogging as I've realized that I don't get cookies for doing it. As every owner of a corgi knows, if food is not given as a reward . . . then the corgi defiance will return. Yawwnn. I think I'll go nap.

Lazy Summer Days

Hmmmm . . . . someone is getting VERY lazy this summer when it comes to updating a certain little dogs blog. This has a strong correlation to the recent adoption of Blossom the Wonderdog. They haven't even posted the recent photos of me swimming. With goggles. How can they resist?

Hmmm. . . .

This is Bella. Did anyone notice that I'm conveniently cut out of that photo? I see where this is heading. Favoritism. Dogs with tails get all the attention.

More Beautiful Blossom Photos

Blossom Speaks

Hello. I am Blossom. As you can see from my photos, I am extremely calm and good-natured. Obviously I've been brought to live with Bella so that I can be a positive influence. My hope is to tame Bella and shape her into the therapeutic dog that she was chosen to be. I've spent the week observing her and I've made a list of possible goals for her to begin to work towards. I've also created a little chart where everyday she will either earn or lose stars for her behavior. Of course I'll be the judge. Here's the list:

1. Come when called.

2. Stop defluffing my toys. (I know what you did with my pig)

3. Stay.

4. Stop trying to herd me. They do not make yellow sheep, Bella.

I'll be watching you Bella.

Blossom Eats My Food!

I know you people won't believe me but that dog is eating my kibble. Right out from under me! I hope I don't become emaciated and wither away. But . . . on the other hand . . . I guess I do love her. Why can't life be simpler? All these complex emotions in one small, cute dog. It's all too much to process. I think I will go dig a hole and think this through.

Herding Blossom

Herding the new dog like sheep is fun. Especially in the house. Everyone's commenting on her good behavior . . . well . .. it seems as if I'm being compared to Blossom quite a bit. Corgis don't like to be compared to others . . . especially in areas of height. My obedience might not be as effective but at least I don't have a tail the size of a peacock. And I haven't stolen one slipper today. Also, I don't mean to tattle but Blossom has been sleeping on the couch and she often stares at the ferrets.

Blossom Speaks

Blossom has come to live with me. I was nervous at first . . . but . . .well . . . I think I'm handling this very well. I've cleaned out her ears for her . . . played with all her toys . . . and pretended that she is a sheep that needs herding. As far as I can tell, snacks are being given equally . . . but I'll continue to monitor the handing out of cookies. Gotta go . . . I've got to chase Blossom around the dining room table.

What is she up to?

Something is up at the office . . . . my owner purchased a collar that is not my size. While I admit that I have grown somewhat robust over the winter . . . this collar will not fit me. Also, a new matching leash. I have concerns that something is going on. I caught her checking out this website also. . . . http://www.ggrlc.homestead.com/ I'm going to try a little harder to obey and cut back on the begging and squeeking the toys while she's on the phone.

Biker Week at the Beach

Boring Monday. Walked around Conway, SC and rode in the carpool. Got caught drinking owner's coffee. Yawn. Biker week is here and the noise is killing me. I do have sensitive ears. . . I know . . . I'm not allowed to complain about tourism as it brings in revenue to our area. I will smile and try to accept tourists as if they are locals. I will smile and try to accept tourists as if they are locals. I will smile and try to accept tourists as if they are locals. (Repeat until calm). Maybe some emotional eating would help to tame this situation. Where are the doughnuts?

Intruder!!!

FROG in Pool! I want everyone to know .... there's a FROG IN THE POOL! Do not be alarmed . . . I will protect everyone from the evil FROG IN THE POOL. Therapy dog in training or superhero? You be the judge. Gotta go, there's a FROG IN THE POOL!

Emotional Trauma of Haircut

I've been hiding out lately . . . to avoid public ridicule as I got shaved down for the summer. I've definately noticed that without the persuasive power of the fluff that my daily cookie rations are waaaay down. I think that there must be some correlation to cute and amount of cookies received. I looked into counseling for my self-esteem . .. but my insurance doesn't cover counseling that's needed for emotional trauma as the result of a bad haircut. oh my.

Where O Where Has the Little Dog Gone?

OK . . . for those 2 or 3 people that choose to read my blog. . . you're wondering where I've been. Let's just say . . . some people get vacations . . . and what do the pets get???? A week at the kennel that specializes in obedience training. When will they give it up??? This desperate attempt to make a well-behaved corgi out of me is getting rather tiresome. I think I'll go steal something and chew it up. New picture tomorrow . . . wait til you see the souvenir I got.

Good Book

My owner picked up "The Idiot's Guide to Dog Tricks" today on sale. While she wasn't looking I chewed off the corner. Of particular interest is Chapter 4, "Setting Realistic Goals" . . . I really enjoyed the comments about corgis being prone to misbehavior when bored. We really need a dog park around here.

Move That Bus!

Can someone please direct me to the volunteer tent where refreshments are being served?

Extreme Dollhouse Makeover Update

News Flash! I just heard from Ty Paddington Bear from Extreme Dollhouse Makeover. It looks as if the unicorn family is in for a big surprise. He's coming in from England to do a special makeover on the dilapidated dollhouse sometime in the next week or two. Of course, I'll be volunteering . . . I just got my shirt and hard hat. Maybe I'll have a picture of me in it on tomorrow's blog. Stay tuned.

Letter to the Old Dog

Dearest Old Dog,

I know that you think that I am annoying. Your sighs and low growls do not go unnoticed. However, I do worship you, you know. I really just want to play. I don't really mean it when I steal your food ... and bones . . . and spot on the bed. You shouldn't take it personally when I knock you out the way when the owner is petting you. Those are the ways that I show affection. Disturbing, I realize, coming from a therapy dog in training. But, hey . . . you don't live at the office and I only see you when I'm off-duty. I have no obligation to be on-call. Even a therapy dog in training should not have to be perfect. I don't get paid for overtime. Actually, I don't get paid. I'm having some deep inner anger issues today. I think I'll go take them out on a puppet. Sincerely, Bella

Birthday !

Today's my birthday . . . I'll be accepting gifts, cards and cash all day . . .actually anytime. I don't think my owner will be giving me anything. Yesterday was a rough day. I stole a bag of jellybeans. . . . and that's not all. My owner apparently grinds her teeth at night so I also stole her mouth guard and chewed it a little. The look on her face when she caught me was priceless. I also stole a sock. Pretty much anything not bolted down is fair game. I've gotten really good at counter surfing also. Hahahahahahahahaha. The corgi defiance can not be beaten!

Escape!

Made an escape yesterday. Down the street I ran . . . did not come back when called . I didn't even fall for the "I have cookies" routine. Oh the sweet joy of corgi defiance!

FLUBBY . . . and proud of it!

My owner's spouse has come up with a word that he feels describes me . . . Flubby. It's what happens when you're fluffy and chubby. I can't decide if it's a term of endearment or a put down. It's hard to tell with him. After I ate his slippers, I've noticed he's been a little bit on the sarcastic side with me. Anyway, I have decided I will accept myself as I am . .. Flubby . .. and proud of it!

Yawn . . . . Lazy Day

Didn't do much today . . . watched my owner attempt to rid house of virus germs leftover from the weekend. Offered to help but it seems that she doesn't speak corgi. Too bad.

I Should Have Gotten the Day Off ... But No

I had to go with the owner to work on a Saturday . . . not fair. I also had to wear the "therapy dog-in-training" vest that clearly is two sizes too small and held together with a safety pin (someone tried to chew it in half). I did get a couple of chicken nuggets for lunch and a new squeaky toy. I promptly tore out the fluff in protest, knocked over my water and tried to tie my owner up with the leash. I am very talented.

Sick People Keep Me From Having Walkies

Well, it appears as if everyone has contracted some mysterious virus . . . that's what they get for brushing their teeth everyday. It is seriously cutting into my daily routine. No walkies . . . out of boredom I stole the bumblebee puppet and tore off his nose. He was taunting me but no one is believing that story. So if you don't hear from me in a few days it's because I am not feeling loved and I've decided to run away. I'm off to Hollywood to pursue a career in acting.

Update . . . Hole to China Almost Complete

I've been busy . . . that hole to China is almost complete. I wonder if they have sheep in China?

Friday . . . at last

Friday. I've been waiting all week for the weekend. Being a "working dog" isn't all it's cracked up to be. I've constructed a list of things I'll be doing this weekend . . .

BELLA'S weekend to do list

1. Finish digging that hole to China in the back yard.
2. Assist owner with paperwork and billing from business. . . I'm responsible for filing all insurance claims with Blue Cross and I'm waaaaaaaaaaaaay behind.
3. Dance, Dance, Dance.
4. Sleep, Sleep, Sleep.
5. Play with buddy, Flash.
6. Give cat bath and snuggle. . . I really do think the cat does love this . . . .
7. Make my famous lizard-bug casserole. See recipe below:
Take 2 crunchy dried lizards, 5 freshly traumatized bugs (any kind will do) and add 1/2 gallon dog slobber. Roll in mud and leaves for 20 minutes or until owner yells at you to "knock it off" . Carry into house and serve on kitchen floor. Owners really appreciate this small act of kindness.

Dear Flash . . .

Dear Flash,
Please come over for a play date this Sunday. It's lonely here. Cat won't play with me. I've been banned from the puppets since I got caught again yesterday mangling the bumble bee puppet. We could chase each other around the yard and pretend we're wolves. . . . or we could pretend you're the cow and I'm the fierce herding dog trying to round you up. Then we can argue about who's the best dog in the world and snarl over "cookies". What do you think?
Signed,
The lonely little corgi in North Myrtle Beach

Corgi Bashing

Working today . . . greeted people at front door. I really enjoy it when people come to visit me. Chased my golf ball around the hall and chewed edge of carpet just a little. I'm recovering today from an ugly incident in the pet store last night when my my owner stopped in to pick up some food for me (thank goodness). Two people were having a conversation about the aggressive nature of corgis and how they look "stubby". Ouch. My self-esteem plummeted. Today I've had to practice positive self-talk to change my mood from snarly and aggressive to focused and friendly. I don't think of myself as "stubby" rather just "height challenged". People should really watch what they say in public. Isn't it obvious that my ears allow me to hear everything . . . especially food being dropped in the kitchen. Gotta go.

Tuesday . . . . Out of Dog Food

Yes, we are out of dog food. We have our food delivered and it seems that either they cheated us on the last delivery or someone has been eating more than the daily allotment. I suspect the puppets have something to do with this disaster. I have had to break down and eat cat food so I will not starve to death. Of course, I eat the cat's food everyday but that is not the point. If the food's not delivered by tonight . . . I will have to hunt my own dinner. This will involve crawling inside the couch and searching for potato chip crumbs.

Day Off . . . Good Time to Steal A Puppet

Even though it's Saturday I took the time to try and steal one of the play therapy puppets. I got caught but don't worry I haven't given up. I'll get one of those puppets if it's the last thing I do. Chewed 2 bones and got 2 new squeeky toys. A good day even if I did get caught.

Well-Groomed Against My Will

Today I was forced to go to the groomer against my will. I typically emerge from these visits smelling funny, looking like a shrub and wearing hairbows. I think this is some type of punishment for my carpet chewing habit. I'll have to find something really stinky to roll in tonight . . . a dead frog or lizard to bring balance to my new smell.

Extreme Dollhouse Makeover

I've had a busy day . . . I really love to play with my friend, the cat. I like to herd him around the house. Today I cleaned out his ears for him. He pinned me down and bit me but I just think that's how he shows me that he loves me. Last week, Extreme Home Makeover was in town . . . Family Hope Counseling Center tried to get them to come out and do an Extreme Dollhouse Makeover at the office. The dollhouse is in seriously sad shape . . . the front door and a window are missing. I'm still waiting for Ty Pennington to show up . . . I'm concerned about the unicorn family that's been living in the house lately. Some mysterious teeth marks on the unicorns have appeared and one of the horns is completely gone. I don't know what sort of beast would do such a thing. . .

Bella's Day as Therapy Dog-In-Training

Bella's List of Things to Do Today While at Work at Family Hope Counseling Center in NMB, SC:
1. Chew edge of carpet while no one is looking
2. Pretend I didn't chew edge of carpet
3. Eat bugs from corner of room
4. Give out free kisses
5. Sleep
6. Eat "cookies"
7. Ponder deep questions of life . . .
8. Maintain confidientialty